Written by Joe Dent
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Thursday, 27 January 2005

image for Guantanamo Four To Release Single
Bad Four Cover Stones.

The four Britons freed without charge after questioning by anti-terrorism officers following their release from Guantanamo Bay are to bring out a single next month.

Moazzam Begg, Martin Mubanga, Richard Belmar and Feroz Abbasi will spend the next couple of weeks at a recording studio in Hertfordshire creating a cover of the classic Rolling Stones' track "I'm Free".

Not surprisingly, record executive Simon Cowell is behind the single. He is reputed to have paid each of the men half a million pounds as well as offering them more virgins than they can shake a stick at.

Mr Cowell told the Spoof: "I'm aware this may look like I'm trying to cash in on these men, but nothing could be closer to the truth. I'm actually taking a big risk in signing Mozza, Fero, Ricky and Marty. I could lose a lot of money. It's a gamble for me. But I'm prepared to bet that these four will go a long long way. Either that, or they'll be one hit wonders."

Whatever Mr Cowell thinks, many will see the release of this single as a supreme example of bad taste. But whether it will be a hit is not in question.

Considering that around 30,000 sales are needed to reach the top spot in the charts, and that there are over a million Muslims living in the UK, many of whom will buy the single, it is inevitable that the song will go straight to number one.

Another Single That Won't Be Heard

The four men, who were held at Guantanamo Bay for almost three years, have actually recorded two songs.

But it is unlikely that the second will ever be released as it contains references to alleged torture by Americans at Guantanamo Bay, with lyrics such as "Get your boot out of my face." and "Turn that damn country and western off before I go insane."

All proceeds from the forthcoming single will go to charity (apart from the two million paid to the four men and some for Mr Cowell).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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