Written by IainB
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Friday, 16 April 2010

image for Airports overcrowded due to Volcanic Ash Cloud
The planes are gounded!

Airports across the country are reporting higher than average number of people arriving at their airports, not despite the ash cloud hanging over Europe, but because of it.

With every flight in and out of UK airspace grounded due to the ash cloud coming from Iceland's volcano, news reporters have thronged to the UK's major airports to report on how empty they are.

"It's brilliant," said Cathy Pacific, a waitress at a coffee shop in Heathrow. "Normally it's pretty quiet after the Easter holidays have finished, but at the moment we're doing a roaring trade."

Thousands of journalists for TV, Radio and Internet news channels caused congestion around Heathrow as they all tried to find a quiet spot from which to broadcast that there was nobody at the airport. The concourse shops were filled with people replacing camera batteries and grabbing skinny lattes, whilst it was impossible to find a seat in any of the restaurants, cafes or burger bars. The Heathrow Inn had completely sold out of mineral water, such was the influx of media types.

However, of people waiting for planes to come or go, there was not a soul, all having read the news, and realised they wouldn't fit into the terminals even if they went.

This is IainB, reporting from an (almost) empty Heathrow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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