ITV aired the first round of the Eurovision Debate Contest from Manchester tonight.
Families crowded round their TV sets and groups of friends organised Eurovision parties where it is the custom to wee yourself after a night of drinking cheap vino and watching the performances. Some dressed up as MP's, blank cheque in hand and John Lewis list in the other.
Tonight's competitors did not disappoint. DCTory played his Job Tax ace card about 7 times and did not take the bait of fellow competitor GBLabour.
GBLabour, cracked jokes at DCTory's expense and his groove did not stick as it normally does. He produced a faultless performance of I would spend 6 billion pounds, even managing a cheeky grin at DCTory.
The star of the night was NCLibdem who compromised a lot but still used his favourite ban Trident to floor the opposition.
All the competitors appeared to be composed but the MC shouted and repeated himself many times during the debate
The audience were strangely muted with no applause or jeering, as is normal. Perhaps they were fatigued from bagging up all the Iceland ash deals, you buy 1 you get ten free, they swept off their drives earlier today.
In the end NCLibdem came out top and they will all return for the second round in a weeks time.
No one got Nul Points but they all need to improve.