Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 15 April 2010

image for British airspace lockdown 'thwarts another pants bomber'
Terrist pals of the pants bomber never expected to be thwarted by a bloody Icelandic volcano

London - (Lava Palaver): Pals of Christmas Day pants bomber Omar Farouk Abdel-Muttalab are livid.

Their SqueezyJet no-frills charter flight ploy to test-drive new surgical implant explosives has boobed.

Thanks to some blasted volcanic eruption in Iceland the entire awayday caper has had to be put on the back burner.

At his North London spider-hole today terror ringleader Dave Abdel-Muttalab Cameron (no relation) was on the blower to travel insurers about the 'Acts of God' small print clauses banning any refunds.

"What are you meaning 'get a life'? I was hoping for 120 lives. Where's my fifty quid cashback guarantee you apostate swine?"

Meanwhile at Anti-Terror Squad HQ in London officers are readying themselves for a massive swoop.

British airports are to remain under complete lockdown for another 24 hours as a special SAS pyrotechnic team flies above Eyjafjallajoekull glacier on lava-stoking duties.

It is hoped they can squeeze at least another half dozen spewings from the huge Icelandic caldera giving Special Branch enough ammo to nail the entire UK cabinet for a series of European terror acts.

Nick Clegg is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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