Written by Frank Michaels
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Thursday, 15 April 2010

image for Jamaican Fleet Sails to UK to Rescue Stranded Air Passengers
One of Flying Rag Oceanic Global's boats with larger cruise ship in distance.

Due to one rather untimely volcanic eruption in Iceland, and with what may now also be an extended grounding for air travel into and out of the UK, those wishing to travel where neither tires nor trains go, has become just a little problematic.

But one person's famine is often another's buffet feast, and so it is for Flying Rag Oceanic Global, or FROG; a small seagoing transport service that operates out of Jamaica.

FROG's owner and operator, Ms. Alvita de Everclear, had this to say regarding the situation, "Hey mon! Dis iz a wonderful thing! People and de sails have always been one in de same. We go now to the blessed isles of England and take up those who could not otherwise afford de sea adventure, or that would have been sailing with de birds in de sky."

Everclear's fleet consists of two older 52' single-mast boats, each with accommodations for eight passengers plus crew. Tentative plans include sailing both of her vessels to the southern UK, picking up stranded air passengers and taking them to an unnamed spot along the North American coast. The cost of such an arrangement should be in line with what BA charges for a one-way fair between London and Atlanta, about $800 to $1000 (USD).

"While de big cruise lines will be gouging for their services, we will offer a very personal experience on the high seas." Ms. de Everclear explained. "You will eat what we fish each day and you will swim with dem same fishes when you need to go to de potty, mon!"

Flying Rag Oceanic Global's two ship fleet is expected to arrive somewhere in the vicinity of Falmouth, UK within the next week to ten days. A ticket sales counter will then be set up where ever they happen to land. Prospective customers are advised to go to the Falmouth area and observe the incoming tides daily until the fleet arrives.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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