London - (Holy Shit!!) - A warrant for the arrest of the Pope asserts he colluded in covering-up George W Bush's sordid UK sex escapade career 'on the Queen's orders'.
The documents claim Joe Ratzinger 'was shielding his secret Nazi wife' when he leaned on the shadowy Opus Dei network to blatantly destroy MI5 and Special Branch evidence of Bush's rampage of British minors.
In return for a hefty wedge delivered via 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi's P2 Lodge matrix the then Cardinal Ratzinger ensured an establishment whitewash that sanitised Bush's lurid criminality.
After the November 1963 assassination of President John F Kennedy young Bush was a fugitive from justice and sought sanctuary in the UK with a group of Polish priests called the Marian Fathers.
Their Thames-side Devils Island satanic temple had been used regularly as a Hellfire Club under-age bordello.
It was even 'de-satanised' in a bizarre exorcism conducted in 1966 by Bishop of Krakow Karol Wojtyla, subsequently Pope JP2.
Outwardly, the Marian Fathers religious order was running a Polish boys' boarding school inside the immaculate Capability Brown-designed grounds of a Grade 1-listed Wren mansion.
But this fetid front concealed a heinous altar boy supply chain where underage youngsters became fodder to the lascivious greed of P2 Lodge wackjobs.
One night when Bush had consumed the last of the Marians' communion wine supplies and was morbidly drunk as a skunk a 'party' took place on the Devil's Island temple in honor of Bush's alleged recent birthday.
And the star act of the evening was a crucifixion re-enactment - but without the usual, willing Eastertide Philipino martyrdom wackjobs who like to be flagellated and nailed to the cross....
The rest of the details are contained in the warrant's deposition which names British politicians and Establishment members who colluded in the subsequent Ratzinger whitewash.
Osama Bin Laden is 69.