Hot on the heels of the news that Katie Price and dog- fighting set-dressing husband Alex Reid are trying 'like the clappers' for a baby all of their very own, comes what the tabloid press have already dubbed Text-Sex-Gate.
With the revelation that David and Victoria Beckham are going hard at it five times daily, for a girl (Who the girl in question is, remains a mystery.) Katie and Alex knew immediately that they'd have to outdo that performance if they were to get the tabloid columnists to give them a few inches.
Our inside source, eccentric British film director, Buffty Ginslinger, told us in a seedy West End drinking den that Alex Reid was running around town having sex with Katie Price, on average thirty times a day, once even in a moving taxi.
Puffing on a long cigarette in defiance of the smoking ban, and swigging from an extra large G&T, Buffty Ginslinger laughed uproariously as he recounted a conversation with the planning-permission chested one, where he pointed out to her that text sex is not proper sex, and that even at its most fulfilling, text sex was guaranteed not to culminate in pregnancy.
Not even for the most enthusiastic participant.
Buffty Ginslinger said that Katie Price was shocked by his revelation, and embarrassed to think that she'd been daft enough to think that conception could occur as a direct consequence of text sex.
Buffty Ginslinger then fell over a barstool and had to be assisted from the premises whilst simultaneously regaining the poise which appeared to have temporarily deserted him.
Katie Price's breasts are still humungous. They are not real.
More as we get it.