Written by Nae mair crap
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Friday, 9 April 2010

image for Another one bites the dust

Prospective candidates, from Truro to Thurso, in the UK General Election are running round like headless chickens as they learn of the removal of a candidate, who Twittered like a twerp and has been caught out.

Did a candidate for election to the House of Commons, and who has lost his chance to feed at the trough, not realise that every word, every phrase, every email, Twitter, text and Facebook post would be scrutinised?

How many other prospective candidates are now racking their brains trying to remember their indiscretions? Have their spouses, children and long lost aunts done them in?

If they've been naughty, then they will be caught out. Did they ever forward a dodgy joke? Was it by email or text? Can they delete it or is it etched in history for anyone to discover?

Political parties were quick to strengthen their teams of geeks and nerds as they seek to unveil any other nasties lurking in a mobile phone or laptop.

Rumours that a 45 page, and growing, volume of vile insults and nasty words, never to be used, have been produced by the Labour Party cannot be confirmed.

The politicians wait nervously for the next startling revelation. Deep in the bowels of the Sun, etc etc junior reporters are hard at work, searching through candidate lists. They are supplied with lists of words that are not acceptable, scouring Twitter for a name that their editors will make tomorrow morning's headlines. The shout of "I've got one" will result in the £££££ signs floating in front of their editor's eyes.

It could be you. And another one will bite the dust.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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