Written by Morse
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Friday, 9 April 2010

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Pissed Spoofers Detained Before Being Hauled to Court After Being Brought Down from Tree.

Three rather well know Spoofers were caught short recently after an innocent writer's conference turned into 'quite a cock up' according to one eye witness in the Covent Garden area.

According to Percival Montbatten, a tenured 'elf and safety officer of the Crown, the three were brought to attention after several calls complaining about a trio of fully pissed 'foreign sounding' blokes were observed hanging about in a tree, and refusing to come down despite pleas from passerby's.

Said Sharika, a burqa clad recent immigrant finding her way home from a
tier marketing bomb & martyr session, "I see these guys...I think they drunk. Bastard Pigs!
They hanging around in tree like cluster of dates...maybe even figs. Bastards!
I was afraid to pass, and they didn't speak English. Bastards! If they want to come to UK must learn to speak English! Bastards!"

Montbatten, forbidden to aid anyone up a tree who couldn't get down due to stringent laws formulated by the EU, and strongly enforced, said he was helpless. "They looked like a clump of bats up there, although not in a gay way," he hastened to add ever conscious of imposing on individual human rights.

"One bloke, skinny and dark with a big mustache, was quoting Cervantes in Spanish. The other guy, kind of nerdy scientific looking bloke, if you get my drift, was very theatrical quoting Chaucer...right good too. The third bloke, kinda hangin' from his bloody heels, he had no shoes on, was all bloody emotional like, quoting some gibberish in Italian with tears coming down his face...almost as bad as a sentimental fooking Irishman, only wearing a long leather coat like Goering."

According to later reports the three were determined to stay up in the tree all night reminiscing until a Scotsman came by with a chainsaw on his way to the local library determined to further dismember the English language.

After being taunted for his grammar and punctuation while trying to quote Robert Burns, the Scotsman started up his chainsaw and in quick order the 1500 year old Chestnut tree was laying in the gutter along with the three poet laureates.

When last seen the four were seen laughing hysterically whilst being loaded in a wagon. Taken to night court, they were soon bailed by their
frustrated editor who said he would surely have to dock them some points after causing such a row, and embarrassing him in front of his 'Cousins' across the pond.

The four are to appear in court within a fortnight and it is expected they will receive an ASBO as a minimum, or be required to write at least 217 Spoofs on Cheryl Cole as a maximum. Meanwhile Barrister Q. Mutter, LLC, said she sees no problem 'getting them off" saying imperiously "there all nothing more than two minute men! There's just no more challenges left in the judicial field anymore. It's a real arse mess! BASTARDS!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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