The UK is preparing its Karaoke machines for the return of millions of lazy fat bastards who left the UK when Labour came to power, and Robbie Williams was number one.
Thousands of selfish spongers sold their council houses and left the UK back in 1997 not knowing that Britain would become a much, much better place without them!.
But now we have to face the miserable prospect of these bar room bores returning and reclaiming their council houses ahead of our heroic boys who gave everything in Iraq and Afghanistan.
And where were our ex-pats? Hiding in the sun, that's where!
The Spanish housing market has collapsed! The Tories are on the verge of selling off what's left of Britain! Bars are restocking disgusting Harp lager! Ageing Audi Quattros are being dusted off! 1998 Shearer England shirts will be de riguer, and the Daily Express will lose its circulation on the Coast Del Tosser.
This reporter says stop this invasion now before it's wall-to-wall Wonderwall in every bar in Britain.