A furious Katie Price today warned her knockers to leave Alex Reid alone after a flood of stories surfaced claiming that the cage dressing cross fighter was having a spot of bother inseminating his wife.
Katie Price told a gathering of hardened reporters that that they were all boobs for reporting such vile and hurtful nonsense.
Price denied that the couple were trying for a baby, although the subject had been discussed. She claimed that because she and Reid were so open with the media, they were frequently misunderstood.
And anyway, if they were trying for a baby, it was their business and their business alone. She said that Reid was good with the kids and that she'd have every confidence in him as a dad, just like she had when she came out of the jungle and dumped him.
Then taken him back again.
Throughout the statement, Alex Reid stood almost to attention, his back straight and his jaw square and rugged. Then, borrowing a line from Only Fools And Horses he told the press:
"I ain't no Jaffa."
When a reporter asked him what he meant by that, he asked Katie Price what he meant by that, and she told him that it was a line she'd heard on Only Fools And Horses and that it meant that he wasn't 'seedless,'
"I ain't no Jaffa. I ain't seedless," Reid announced.
Katie Price stated that Reid was 'all wight' in 'that department' and that there were no problems 'wiv 'is furtivity.'
And in any case, even if there 'was' problems, she only had to 'get on the blower to Pete innit. 'Cause he's only gotta unzip 'is jeans an' I'm up the duff inneye.'
Reid then went on to repeat that he was hopeful of getting the part of Mick McManus in an upcoming biopic movie of the wrestling legend's life 'wiv a bit of shaggin' in it.'
He reiterated that Peter Andre will NOT be playing the part of the late Jackie 'Mister TV' Pallo in the same movie. Insiders have intimated that if Alex Reid does get the part, he will be playing opposite Jodie Marsh. Which will suit Katie Price right down to the ground.
We don't think.
More as we get it.