Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 2 April 2010

image for Katie Price To Sell 'Haunted' Mansion - Bidding War Expected Between Kylie Minogue And Bono Out Of U2
house

Although we can't confirm it just yet, we are assured on good authority that Katie Price is to put the house which she shared with Aussie waster Peter Andre on the market.

Because it's haunted.

Or as the lady herself describes it: "orntid."

Price, who has been the subject of less than usual media speculation this week, and probably desperate to get a foot back on the ladder as ex-squeeze Andre racks up the web hits, supposedly told a reporter from goss mag 'Lies, Lies, And Porky Pies' that she couldn't stand sharing the mansion with the ghosts any longer.

When asked to describe the 'supernatural entities' Price could only say that one was a headless bloke on a horse, one was a weeping policewoman, one was a cosmetic surgeon with deformed hands, and another looked like "some mush with a sheet on his head and holes cut out for eyes."

Price went on to say that the one that really got to her was the one what rattled the chains and said "Wooh!" a lot. This one, Price explained, kept trying to look up her skirt, followed her into the shower, and hovered around her sunbed when she was 'browning off the boulders.'

Price also told the reporter that she expected a bidding war to break out over the property between Kylie Minogue and Bono out of U2.

Price said that Kylie needed somewhere stylish and upmarket in order to entertain friends and try to banish forever the memory of 'I Should Be So Lucky.'

She added that she'd heard that Bono was definitely interested in the estate because he'd mentioned that some interesting 'pond life' could be found there.

More when the guy with the limp gets back to us.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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