Gordon Brown went live on Sky News this evening to announce that the next NuLabour administration will ban Giant windmills.
Plans are hastily being drawn up to replace Britain's present nuclear power stations with Diesel powered ones to ensure that the lights don't go out.
Mr.Brown explained the EU had issued a dictat preventing the use of windmils after Scientist's claimed it could lead to the British Isles being propelled South until finally stopping next to Tenerife, just off Africa.
Mr.Rumpy-Pumpy, Head of the EU Commission, added that the UK couldn't really belong to Europe anymore if it just cruised off toward the Equator as it would be a bit silly to try and claim the UK was at the Heart of Europe.
Mr.Brown said that he'd had a change of Heart upon hearing that the American Island of Guam, this afternoon capsized and sank after one too many US Marines landed on it.
BNP leader Nick Griffin managed a smile as he imagined the chaos as millions of Asylum seekers from the Third World headed back to where they originally came from!