Written by Kevin Scrantz
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Topics: London, Nazi

Thursday, 13 January 2005

image for Queen's Nazi Youth League Ball 'Jammy Success'
'Sig Heil!'

LONDON (Rotters) - London's social season opened with a palpable bang at the Queen's First Annual Nazi Youth League Ball. The affair, held at Buckingham Palace, drew senior royals and sycophants alike and lasted until dawn.

"All credit for reviving this lovely youth-oriented tradition belongs to little Harry," the Queen revealed in a public statement. "The affair was just jammy and, judging from our lingering hangovers this afternoon, quite the success."

"I got the idea when I was in the closet playing dress-up with Auntie Margaret's things," Prince Harry blushed, referring to great-aunt Princess Margaret, who died two years ago from choking on a pomeranian.

"I was quite decided on wearing the purple Dior because it shows off my speckled clavicle and cleavage to sweet, sweet advantage," Harry explained to reporters. "Then I came upon this faboo Nazi uniform."

It was, the young royal exclaimed, a defining moment. "I nearly tripped over my stiletto heels running to show grandmother, and she told me the ensemble had belonged to her sister when she was one of the Hitler Youth.

"After I had the royal tailors take the skirt in a bit so it hugged my hips better, I realized what reviving the League could do for London's youth. They need direction, and this will help them find their path."

His proud grandmother admits she's chuffed. "It's like old times, seeing my beloved sister Margaret 'Sig Heiling' about the palace," the misty-eyed monarch told reporters. "One is moved nearly to tears at the memory."

Prince Charles, vacationing with pock-faced Camilla Bowels in a clothing-optional Fiji resort, was unable to attend, but admitted he was pleased. "If this is what it takes to get young Hewitt - pardon, young Harry, out of a dress and off cannabis, then it's fine with me."

The only other senior royal not present was Princess Anne, currently held at an undisclosed kennel awaiting a High Court's decision on whether she will be destroyed under the Vicious Dogs Act. Her Royal Highness was found guilty last week of mauling several pensioners in Windsor Great Park as her husband attempted to place her in the boot of their car.

"I had hoped to attend," the princess sniffed from behind bars. "I even suggested I wear a muzzle and lead, but was denied. I do hope this proves to be a positive experience for my so-called nephew. Perhaps it will teach him proper ethics so he won't have to cheat on school tests in future."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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