The resilient British motor industry received yet another BOOST with the recall of billions of Toyotas, government figures revealed today. Cars manufactured in the UK before they became part of China's Nanjing Automobile company in 2005 have NEVER BEEN RECALLED, and are therefore THE BEST. Models reassessed by the recall are the Morris Ital, Marina, Austin Allegro, Maxi and Princess.
The POSITIVE move comes after a series of ROSE-TINTED sentimental journeys into the past revealed that it wasn't incompetent British management and woeful under-investment that battered the world's GREATEST car maker, but the innocent workers, bullied by decades of EVIL unions, socialist cronies and communist fellow travellers of UNITE hell bent on destroying British heritage in the same way they're destroying brave privatised industries such as the Post Office, British Rail and British Airways.
Britain's problems are only worldwide after all, and have caused much hand-wringing and consternation in the past. The British transport minister reacted to the news by blaming everyone else, especially THE EVIL EU, for reacting too slowly to the unfolding crisis by several decades.