The Mayor of London, Boris Karloff-Johnson is to have a Marvell-ous Comic and Hollywood movie made about his cycling exploits on the murderous roads of London Town.
The Mayor, who recently fought off muggers with an iron bar and helped an 90 yr old lady retrieve her Louis Vitton bag and virginity intact, was backing the Hollywood blockbuster and was pleased to find out that Matt Damon would play his character as a dickwad plonker incumbent Mayor.
''Boris the Blade'' as City Hall has rebranded him, has the full support of his Transport Secretary, Kulveer Ranger, who himself was recently involved in a cycling accident, due to his heavily bandaged head, stated yesterday that ''Boris The Blade'' is not a Mayor to be fucked with...Matt Damon is not an actor to be fucked with...I am not a Transport Secretary to be fucked with...if you want to fuck with us we are cheap...''
A Hollywood insider, who cannot be named for legal reasons, said yesterday that, Boris Johnson's Super Hero character will, ''Have flowing blonde locks, speak with an un-intelligible Martin Amis type stutter, talk lots of shite, and wear his underpants on the outside of his stockings''. A trait which has only been reserved for Superman until now.
''Boris the Blade Johnson'' said in a press statement today that: ''I am proud that Matt Damon is to play me in a Hollywood wadaptation of my life as a clumsy fool and all round powitical minnow, but I thought he had gweat pweceance when he played Nelson Mandela in 'Invictus''.
A Hollywood spokesperson, who could not be named for legal reasons issued this statement saying, Marvell-ous Comics and Universals have approached London Mayor Boris 'The Blade' Johnson to star in the remake of the 1950's classic 'Frankenstein' and play the role of Frankenstein's Monster and that he was talking shite.