Written by Lady Godiva

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Topics: Susan Boyle

Monday, 29 March 2010

image for Subo's new residence
Disguised Subo fan

Susan has indeed purchased a new residence in Blackburn.

My sources tell me that Scottish women are currently being interviewed to be hired as Susan look-alikes in an effort to fool fanatical stalkers.

Look-alikes will have a tattoo of Pebbles emblazoned on their right thigh in order that they will not TRY to pass as The Real Susan Boyle.

Another precaution to be taken is 'non singers' only need apply.

When Susan is 'in residence' the flag of Scotland will be raised on the front lawn. Naturally the flag will fly every day as there will always be a look-alike present in the house. They are to work shifts.

This flag flying is to confuse the already 'very confused red scarf brigade' some of whom it is feared will attempt to break the restraining order put on them in which they are not to be within 5 miles of Blackburn in future.

Some have already been arrested for breaking this order by sneaking into Blackburn in the early hours, with their red scarves hidden inside their coats. It was their fake Scottish accents that gave them away, plus some of them were holding a haggis and chewing on it like it was a pepperoni stick.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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