Written by Nae mair crap
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Monday, 29 March 2010

image for Susan Boyle and the mystery hollows
Tiger did you get an invite?

As mystery grows about the strange hollows behind the new home of Susan Boyle a local historian, Kenny McTavish, has explained the recent history of the land. Observant Susan Boyle fans are to be congratulated on their skills but need not be concerned, it appears.

He emphasised that the hollows are man made. The land was originally part of an open cast mining area. Locals, collected their coal from the land at dead of night. However, when Blackburn or the Backofbeyond as West Lothian Council now call it, got electricity in the 1980's the land was turned into a private golf course.

The hollows became sand bunkers on the 14th hole. Similar sand bunkers can be seen on other parts of the land. A new Golf Course was built nearby, in the 1990's, and the land was allowed to return to nature.

He revealed that Miss Boyle was reported to have purchased this land so that it can be returned to a luxury Golf Course for all her rich visitors to enjoy. The singer is also applying for planning permission to erect a fabulously appointed clubhouse so that she can drink her lemonade in peace.

Miss Boyle was concerned that she would not have walls wide enough to hold her many Gold and Platinum discs and plans to have these installed in the clubhouse. In addition, she intends to purchase a Bang and Olufsen music system so that she can enjoy her CD, on repeat, without causing a noise disturbance to her new neighbours.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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