Written by bhabha
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Tuesday, 4 January 2005

image for Blair BULLies Fox Hunters
Scenes like this will soon become common in Gloucestershire

Prime Minister Tony Blair announced radical new plans which will allow fox hunting to continue but the hunters now face the prospect of being hunted themselves. It was an announced late last night and it quickly passed through both houses without challenge. Lord Lilly was overjoyed by the new proposal and was quoted as saying "I can't wait to kill the vermin". It is unsure if he was referring to the foxes or the hunters. "We recognised the ban was impossible to police, so now we are going to hunt the hunters, as humanely as possible". The Prime Minister expanded his comments by saying "We will kill one hunter per fox killed just to even it up. To implement our plans we are going to use methods similar to the hunters, so we are now herding training bulls. We will dispatch them to the required areas and are confident they will do the best job in difficult circumstances". The thinking behind this is that the hunters red jacket will lead the bulls to charge at the hunters and make the hunters the hunted.
The pro-hunting lobby responded to this by proclaiming this is as an outrage to their human rights but as they are also anti-Europe they refuse to go the European court of Human Rights to resolve this matter. However, some pro-hunters are excited by the prospect claiming "it will keep them on their toes" and "the more violence, the better"
Also Rupert Murdoch is now planning a new venture to introduce this on Sky Sports and is rumoured to be paying £10 million for exclusive rights. A BskyB spokesman said "We believe this new sport will replace football as our top sport, and we know that both sides have large fan bases which should ensure its success". ITV and BBC are reported to be competing for the terrestrial rights, while the beauford hunt is reported to be terrestrial only.
The Government are now deciding when to implement the ban, but it is believed that the first clash will be a Royals versus Government showcase, to ensure a glorious start to a new era of hunting.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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