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Wednesday, 24 March 2010

image for Chancellor of the Exchequer to introduce punitive tax on the use of pleonasms - it's absolutely essential says Alistair Darling
another white elephant

The UK Chancellor of the Exchequer has included a crackdown on overused cliches in the English language in his Budget Statement. A tax will be introduced immediately on all printed literature, emails and Internet sites to eradicate completely the overused cliche.

"It is absolutely essential that we all adopt a regular routine and with careful scrutiny we may completely eliminate pleonasms" he told a Press Conference.

Knowledgeable experts will compete with each other to develop software capable of detecting pleonasms and rejecting the offensive phrases just as Spellcheck identifies errors in spelling.

Software will automatically detect renegade pleonasms and £10 (plus 25% VAT) will be debited from the users Paypal account for each pleonasm discovered. Serial offenders face a visit from DOPE and every Government office will have a DOPE detector assigned to them.

"Desirable benefits" he continued, "should include savings in costs of paper, ink and other stationary which will contribute to a reduction in the nation's carbon footprint. Databases will be constantly maintained. With advance planning we will achieve our ultimate goal. We will achieve our goal within five years. There is no alternative choice. Her Majesty's government will immediately launch a recruitment drive to add an additional 20,0000 people to the newly created Department of Pleonasm Eradication (DOPE)"

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