Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Ian Huntley

Monday, 22 March 2010

image for Ian Huntley Has Throat Slashed
Huntley's Hide And Seek Playground - Coming Ready Or Not!

There was widespread shock and disbelief at Frankland Prison, Durham, today after it was revealed that yet another attempt on the life of notorious Soham child-killer Ian Huntley had failed.

Huntley had his throat slashed in the early hours of Sunday morning by a fellow inmate, using a home made knife, or shiv, as a weapon. Witnesses stated that there was blood everywhere and that they were sure that this time Huntley was a 'goner'.

But following prompt action, the killer of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman was taken under guard to hospital and is expected to recover. Since his incarceration, the twisted child killing paedophile has been attacked several times and has made three botched suicide attempts.

My source in Frankland Prison told me:

"Everybody's in a state of shock right now. We can't believe that yet another attempt to take Huntley's life has failed. The guys on the High Security wing are livid - there's even talk about training somebody up to do Huntley good and proper. All I can say right now is that we're working on it one attack at a time, taking each chance as it comes. We'll get there in the end."

Prison authorities have requested a lockdown at the prison to facilitate a weapons search, as they are tasked with keeping Huntley alive.

Liberal humanitarians have been scratching their heads for months trying to work out the fairest way to deal with Huntley, given that any inmate who manages to succeed in killing him will be accorded 'hero' status within the prison system.

Most observers don't for the life of them understand why the do-gooders bother.

More as I make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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