Simon Cowell is extremely upset with Gordon Ramsey. He has just learned that Gordon has indeed invited Susan Boyle to appear on The F Word.
Simon is annoyed for a number of reasons:
1) Susan didn't tell him about the invite
2) Simon isn't invited
3) Piers Morgan will be one of the 'diners'
4) Chubby Brown is to be cooking in the kitchen
Simon is just not sure that Gordon and Chubby can go a whole show without saying the 'f' word or indeed any other curse words.
"This is indeed worrying," said Simon, "I'm trying to work with Susan on her interview techniques. She's been doing really well but I worry that spending a couple of hours with Grodon and Chubby, she'll slip back somewhat.
"I KNOW she has provided Gordon with some 'conditions', but I'm not sure that even Susan will be able to refrain from cursing when she gets with that pair of potty mouths."
Simon went on to say,
"All is not lost. The show isn't for a month or so yet. I still have time to 'work on' Susan and try to make her see sense."
He flashed his teeth in a big grin. The glare from his pearly whites blinded a passing skate-boarder, who consequently crashed into an oncoming car, splattering blood all over Simon and the interviewer.
The skate-boarder is said to have sustained cuts,17 broken bones and a bruised ego. He is, planning to charge Simon with carrying a deadly weapon. HIS TEETH.
More as this story unfolds.