On Coronation Street, David Platt has been plotting and scheming all weekend. David believes that the Street is his real home and that he really lives at no 8 all year. He also believes that Gail is his real mum and thinks the lady, who brings him all his meals and laundered clothes, who is his real mum, is from the Salvation Army.
David has spent his weekend wiring up no 8 Coronation Street. He plans to turn his home into a fortress as part of his most devious and twisted scheme to date. He plans to spring Gail from jail and hide her at no 8.
Daft as a brush, he hopes to recruit the even dafter, but hilariously funny, Graeme Proctor and the sly little madame in hot pants, Rosie Webster. They also believe Coronation Street is real and have spent the weekend getting themselves pissed as newts on cheap booze from Dev's corner shop.
Graeme often ponders where everyone goes at the weekend and has convinced himself they all take weekend trips to Blackpool. Rosie, who gave away a fortune to a con man, believes they are all sados and lowlife losers.
Greame has a huge crush on Rosie but she would not piss on him if he was on fire. Rosie is convinced that she is god's gift to men and plays with Graeme's affections.
David is watching, jealous and with that evil face he calls acting. He is ready to spring his latest evil plan on the Street.