London - (Drowning Street): Former government ministers Stephen 'Liar' Byers, Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt have been caught spouting crap in return for hefty backhanders.
A TV documentary says the three were videoed talking out of their arses and stuffing large Brown envelopes brimming with £££s under their king size mattresses at constituency homes.
The money is believed to come from a grateful Colonel Gaddafi who used his legendary powers of persuasion in the Lockerbie bomber fiasco to smooth things over in the UK front benches from his vast petro-dollar war chest.
The TV investigation was triggered after Tony Blair and Gorgon Brown were caught boasting in public how they'd fooled the 'cash-for-honours' police probe that exonerated the government from serious graft and corruption charges.
At his New Scotland Yard desk this weekend Commander Yates of the Yard smiled his usual unfathomable boyish grin when questioned by reporters about another imminent dawn raid on Drowning Street.
"Just a few more days, lads, before the shit hits the fan," Yates commented enigmatically.
Rumors that cabinet ministers' Icleandic offshore bank accounts are still brimming with cash from Libya refuse to go away.