The Home Office has tried to hide shocking new statistics on Polish Immigration to the UK in the last year and were only forced to make the stats public when a Polish Pole Dancer, Iliaka Rimmurbottomoff had the 2inch file shoved into her knickers, whilst working in a suasage factory.
The Secretary of State for Immigration Phil Woollyass was livid at the security leak and made a statement today saying that ''it's simply not true that we are being inundated with super sexy Polish women as the stats say...some of them are dogs, but the majority are gorgeous...and we allways follow up on the sexiest ones''.
Polish French Polisher, Ivan Knickurknackeroff said today that ''vee are treated like dogs in the UK...atleast its much better than living in Poland...there we are treated W.O.G.S...you know vord?...Vorkers of the Government...atleast here nobody calls me a Vog...I am vite like you no?.
The Home Office, which is trying to cut costs by employing a tribe of Chimpanzees to research and write its statistics,
have instead of cutting costs, doubled them, due the massive imports of Bannana's to feed the chimps...
Home Office Immigration spokesman, a Mr. Phil Macavity, said today that ''we only let good looking Polish women into the UK...we then get thier names and addresses, go round and shag them...It's just one of the perks of the job.