Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 19 March 2010

image for Gail McIntyre Remanded In Custody - For Murder
Mann's Chinese Weatherfield Magistrates Court. In Los Angeles.

There were audible gasps of shock, horror, and awe yesterday as Gail McIntyre of Coronation Street, Weatherfield, was remanded in custody by Weatherfield magistrates accused of murdering her husband Joe.

As Gail was taken down, she gazed tearfully at the TV cameras for dramatic effect, before being whisked unceremoniously off to prison.

In prison, Gail McIntyre was confined to a cell on her own, sparking a row among other inmates who complained that the Weatherfield black widow was being given preferential treatment because she was acting in a TV soap opera.

The brief hearing was attended by McIntyre's two sons, Nicky and David, and her mother, Audrey. Also by Eileen Grimshaw, who has no vested interest in the case other than being a nosey old bat.

McIntyre, once Platt, and Tilsley, is no stranger to criminal activity. Her first husband, Brian was stabbed to death, her second husband was stalked by a proper bunny boiler, and she had intimate relations with serial killer Richard Hillman, who battered Ashley's Maxine to death with a bloody big wrench. Among others.

It should have been no surprise that McIntyre was remanded in custody, given her unenviable track record, but people were surprised, partially due to some clever camera work.

We can reveal that Gail is actually innocent, and is expected to get off on all charges because millions of TV viewers saw criminal mastermind Joe get clonked on the head by the bowsprit, before falling into Lake Windermere. Where he drowned.

But it was a bona fide accident.

Joe's surviving daughter, Tina, convinced of Gail's guilt, must not have been watching Corrie on the night that her dad popped his clogs.

But you'd think that somebody would have told her.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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