Written by Hartley
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Thursday, 18 March 2010

image for John Terry In Car Park Accident
Former England skipper knocks down Price

National hero and all round good guy, John Terry, has been helping police with their inquiries, and may be forced to miss the World Cup, following allegations by Katie Price that he ran her over in his Rage Rover.

The reported incident occurred as Terry was leaving Stamford Bridge after Chelsea lost their match against Milan.

A bystander said "I was just minding my own business when I saw John Terry storm into the car park at 9.04pm, with his wife under his thumb. As he started to drive off a load of paparazzi surrounded him. Then all of a sudden this bright orange woman in a fur hat and bikini comes out of nowhere and hurls herself at the front of his car. It was awful. All you could hear was her screaming "Did you get a shot of ME?" I've never seen anything like it. I think I'm scarred for life, and may call an no win no fee lawyer to claim compensation."

A spokesman for Katie Price said, "Katie is making no statements on this incident at this time. She will give some details about it in tonight's episode of her live show What Katie Did Today, will reveal a bit more in her new magazine, a little more in her next book, and finally everything in her film."

A source close to the supermodel pointed out with his make-up brush, "Katie's under a lot of strain at the moment and will resort to anything to get what she craves. She hasn't had a front page headline or been stalked by the paparazzi for a few days, it's driving her crazy. She decided to go looking for the paps, and when she found them round John Terry's car she flew into a jealous rage. Out of sheer desperation she decided to make the most of the photo opportunity."

Alex Reid and Toni Terry were both unavailable for comment as all they can talk about is how in love they are with their disrespectful respective spouses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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