The BBC today announced the names of the stars and celebrities who will be taking part in this years 'Hand Relief' - an annual wank-fest to raise money for good causes.
Regular hand relievers like Chris Evans, Bruce Forsyth, Dale Winton and Adrian Chiles have confirmed their participation, but the highlight of this year's action is likely to be Ant and Dec who have promised to give each other "a good hand jobby for a good cause."
Charities which will benefit include the Calloused Palm Association, the It Makes You blind Trust and Sore Point - the self-help group for addicted masturbaters. Sponsorship will come from Vaseline and the ReadersWives.web among many others.
A BBC spokesman said: "Terry Wogan was desperate to get involved in Hand Relief but, unfortunately, he is suffering from a severe case of tennis elbow and Jonathon Ross has said he will be in the toilet with a copy of Health and Efficiency so he can't come either. At least not on the live show."
The host for the evening will be K Y (Jelly) Lang and all proceeds will go to Joanna Lumley.