A drunken, rather largely built Lithuanien, has assaulted a female police officer with his "Dick" (penis in oxford English).
The assault happened after police were called to an address where loud music, raucous behaviour and mega-boozing was taking place.
After entering the flat the police saw a rather "big-balled" Lithuanian, pissed out of his brains, f'ing and blinding in his underpants and totally unaware of the police assault.
A female officer attempted to calm the "Gentleman" down by prodding him with her truncheon, he screamed several abusive words in perfect Lithuanian, "fuck off bitch or I'll stick my huge one in your fucking ear" which he promptly did!
Several male police colleagues gobsmacked at the mans huge "weapon" fell over laughing as the Lithuanian run for the door with his pants around his ankles and the "THING" swaying to and fro between his knees.
Tripping over the door mat he stumbled and the police managed to "STRAP" him down and pull up his pants.
Meanwhile the female office had recovered from her massive "slap in the ear" and was led to the ambulance mumbling, "I'm sure it was my truncheon and not his DICK, it can't be, no never!"
Later it was confirmed that she had heavy concussion and was in a trauma (who wouldn't be?)!
As for the "Massive" Lithuanian he's been sentenced to GBH, carrying a "dangerous weapon" and attempted rape in the ear!