Katie Price was viciously attacked today at a book signing of her latest bestselling novel, Toilet Paper. The attack came when 14 starving novelists broke ranks with her many devoted fans and started throwing volumes of Keats, Tolkien and Raymond Fiest at the talented Ms P.
Katie was rushed away by security and was later treated for Botox damage in an undisclosed private clinic, a spokesperson said "A volume of Keats hit Katie on the left side of her head and she can now wiggle her eyebrow back and forth 3 or 4 millimetres, for someone who has had no facial expression for the last 5 years you can understand how frightening this has been".
Although most of the emaciated writers managed to get away, there was one arrest, 41 year old Reg Ected said at the time of his arrest, "I would have got away too if it hadn't been for the rickets and my fear of open spaces but I don't regret a thing, you can't publish a pamphlet if you haven't been in Loaded at least twice".
It was suggested To Mr Ected that he hadn't been published because of the 2000 page sci/fi drivel he had written but he strongly denied this. He will appear in court later this week to face assault charges but on the bright side for Mr Ected, he has had offers from three literary agents since his sudden notoriety came to light.
Ms Price's agent was also quick to point out it was Katie's talent that got her books to the top of best sellers lists and it was unfounded that she had no impute in the writing process, adding "Katie picked the type face and the front cover colour for this one".