Written by Lady Godiva
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Tuesday, 16 March 2010

image for Becks interviewed following recenty surgery
Becks can only look and weep

David Beckham was interviewed at his bedside following his one hour operation yesterday.

He was just finishing of his diary entry when this reporter started the interview. He was obviously in much pain and offered his diary entry as part of the interview whilst waiting for the morphine to kick in.

This reporter offered to 'mark' it for him as it was obvious after the first few words that he is no spelling bee contestant. He declined the offer and said the had his own unique way with all aspects of the English language and wanted it printed in it's entirety, just the way he had written it. Actually, that's not a quote from Becks. He said "A don't see noffing rong wiv it meself, but fanks anyway." Good luck!

"Arm upset agen now coz a wont be goin' to de Werld Cup no more. Well a can go but a cant play. A was planning t' scor lodes of goles. Tori's ded upset wiv me and sumone sed she was 56 wen they rote about us in The Spoof. A keep teling 'er is wosnt me wot sed it.

"An' sumwon sed I sliped on a banana peel, which wosn't troo. Everywon no's it was dog poo. An' nowon wud cleen me boots so a 'ad to do it meself in the amblance on de way to de hospikal.

"Tork later eh?"

He was visibly upset as it began to sink in that his hopes for the World Cup were dashed. He wanted to be the player to play in 4 Consecutive World cups for his country.

Well, 'sit on the bench' might have been more to the point.

He likely would have spent most of his time there because he IS getting on a bit.

In my opinion, I think they should take pity on the aging footballer and LET HIM GO WITH THE TEAM. He can sit on the bench at least. Then he could hobble onto the field as a sub. fall to the ground and be carried off a very happy man.

That's his dream. Let him live it I say.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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