Solihull, Tuesday - Anti-car weirdos were given reason to cheer Tuesday morning after it was revealed petrol prices are due to soar to £1.99 a litre by the end of this month (March 2010).
The alarming decline in the value of the pound (now officially valued at less than a "Caramac" twin pack) and the continued increase in oil speculation is contributing to the increased wholesale cost.
Drivers are said to be furious at the news, but Brian Carr, a spokesman for Shell told us "although these are higher costs than we've ever experienced in our lifetimes, down my local Spar last week they had an offer, yes an OFFER, of two 500 ml bottles of Evian for £2.20."
We waited while Mr Carr cleared his throat then continued.
"Now correct me if I'm wrong, but two times 500 ml equals one litre. So Evian mineral water is a more expensive product than petrol! "
Chris Automobile-Association of the RAC concurred. "For those who are wanting a move to water-powered vehicles, there is a possibility they'd be even more expensive to run than their petrol, or even diesel, counterparts!"
Worrying times indeed for the motorist.