Written by bedaman
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Monday, 15 March 2010

Rafa "The Gaffa" Benitez has recently been seen telling 4 of the Anfield domestic helps how to clean the boot room. Recently 'The gaffa' has had a hand in everything.

'He really is a hands on type of gaffa. I mean even on throw ins he just won't leave us alone. He has to neb in and ave a word in our ear and do that thing with his hands. Some people might think that undermines the confidence of players, but not me cos i have learned a bit of Spanish and I try real ard so I get picked no matter how crap I am' Says Dirk Ku@t.

But not everyone's "appy" with the 'gaffa'. I recently spoke to a real class act for 'a big man' Peter 'can't believe the irony of your surname' Crouch.

When I asked him what he thought about the 'Rafa the Gaffa' he looked sad and preceded to tell me how he loved Liverpool but was always confused by RTG.

'I mean what did the guy wan't . Remember when I scored that hat trick against the gunners. Right foot - header then left foot- not bad for a big guy!. The next game he didn't even put me on the bench, no explanation or nothing. I mean it was like I was been punished for daring to score a hat trick. He was known for it- if anyone was on two he would take em off. But apparently me been a big guy normally i could only get one or two not three- with me been so big an all.'

That was Peter 'not bad for a big guy' Crouch.

Finally we recently caught up with a real Spanish genius Xabi Alonso. We asked him at 'The Spoof' if he had any sour grapes over leaving Anfield. Funnily enough he said he did have lots of sour grapes and he had made them into a bottle of white wine and had put a nice label on and was looking forward to tricking his old two faced, fat lying unappreciative contradictory manager by presenting it next time the two met - which he knew might be sooner rather than later.

In the mean time spoof has just had a report of a LFC ball boy complaining that RTG was showing him how to dry his balls! oh er!!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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