Written by queen mudder
Print this

Monday, 15 March 2010

image for Kray Twin Ronnie 'is JK Rowling's DNA father'
Queerlove was merely shielding Anne Robinson affair

London - (Rotters): Hidden cold war files at the National Archive in Kew may hold the secrets of JK Rowling's nativity according to latest reports.

The serial children's book plagiarist had previously been assumed to be Anne 'Weakest Link' Robinson's natural daughter following a steamy one-nigh shag with ex-MI6 boss Sir Richard Queerlove.

But specimen swabs tested at the Kew secrets store have revealed that Queerlove, 109, was merely the cover-up artiste in a 45 year hoax.

"It was Ronnie alright who spawned Rowling," sources close to the former hatchet-wielding twins related today.

"He also ordered the hit on neo-fascist wannabe Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher that ensured she was replaced with the lookalike crone who's Cherie's real Mom," Deeper Throat explained.

Today's report also states that Gorgon Brown hid Venables/Thompson intelligence files in the 1998 Good Friday Agreement with the IRA.

Tory shadow national security advisor Pauline Neville Jones is a bonkers fantasist 'and probably Gerry McCann's birth mother'.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 4?

9 24 8 6
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more