Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 14 March 2010

image for David Beckham's new Foundation for Speech impaired Footballers
Kicking it!

It has been announced that a new Clinic has been opened, it is "The David Beckham Speech Enhancement Foundation For Speech Impaired Football Players".

This charity is said to be close to Susan Boyle's heart and accepts, into its programmes, footballers from England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

It's noted that the Welsh players tend to stay at the facility twice as long as the players from England, Ireland and Scotland. This is as a direct result of them being so bloody arrogant, often refusing to speak English, resulting in making the staff's jobs more difficult. Staff are reported as saying they are unable to complete assessments as quickly on these stubborn prats.

Donations are being accepted at the 'Can't tork for cwap' booths to be found in Football Stadiums and most Sports Outlets.

If you wish to volunteer at the facility, forms can be picked up at these booths. Volunteers MUST speak English and be 'speech impairment free'. Any Welsh volunteers need to go through a special 'screening' interview.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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