Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Ancient

Sunday, 14 March 2010

image for Roman Emperors/Gods thank "Loony" Sassenachs for illuminating Hadrians wall as the Scots prepared for an attack!
Brad Pitt, the ultimate Roman killing machine also stood on Hadrians Wall, and had a northerly piss!

The celebrations on Hadrians Wall have caused quite a stir as the Scottish Home Army didn't know what the fuck was happening while a bunch of "Loony" Sassenachs started illuminating the wall.

They thought it was a "Sassenach Attack" and sounded the warning sirens in all of Scotland.

The Scottish Home Army clad in kilts, freckles, berets, throwing the caber and playing the bagpipes advanced towards the wall and, low and behold, it was just a bunch of misguided "Sassenachie" historians playing "silly buggers" and "pyrotechnicians" whilst listening to the Prodigy's "FIRESTARTER"!

Actually, the reason why Hadrians Wall was illuminated was a celebration to the Roman Gods and Emperors celebrating the fact that the Romans had at least done something positive, seperating the sophisticated English from their Northern moronic Bretheren!

During the celebrations Emperor Nero and the Roman God, Jupiter, made a live appearance dancing in the moonlight whilst their subordinates danced into a frenzy to the beat of those ancient Scot rockers, Simple Minds, SAY'S IT ALL ACTUALLY!

As the Scot Home Army retreated after another resounding victory over their southern neighbours they were heard accompanying the bagpipes with a hearty rendition of "Scotland the Brave" totally pissed out of their tiny brains!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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