London - (Hellfire Club Mess): Notorious mobsters Ronnie and Reggie Kray began their criminal careers 'much like Robert Thompson and Jon Venables' according to a criminal archives discovery at the Tower of London.
But the only reason the long arm of the law didn't catch up with them until well late into adulthood was because they were protected as the Queen Mother's secret spawn.
The Nazis' September 1940 bombing of Buckingham Palace had claimed the lives of King George VI, his wife and their elder daughter Princess Elizabeth.
The Government of Unity (Mitford) then hastily injected a trio of lookalike actors rather than admit the appalling chaos of the Luftwaffe killings.
And mad-as-a-hatter Violet Freeman - sister of disgusting pervy traitor Sir Anthony Blunt - took over the role of the Queen Mother.
"She had a lot of previous, of course," Tower of London archvist Dame Agatha Agapanthus commented today, "such as the filthy fling she'd had with Pope Pius XII that spawned George Bush Senior."
Kray Twins Ronnie and Reggie had been farmed out to a hush-hiush foster family where their nascent criminality soon flourished unimpeded.
The lack of any CCTV technology in those days meant that their original Thompson/Venables-esque foray into killing went undetected for nearly 70 years.
The Yorkshire Ripper is Violet's grandson.