Written by Thinctanc
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Friday, 12 March 2010

image for Charity calls for OED to close the book on 'Facebooking'
"In your face!" But not funny, says abused librarian's charity.

A charity that counsels abused library staff has petitioned the Oxford English Dictionary to drop the verb 'Facebooking' from the official new words due to be added to the next version of its dictionary.

The popularity of social networking website Facebook has caused the verb 'Facebooking' to enter common usage among bored office workers, but according to the charity 'Shoosh, we're listening' the verb 'Facebooking' already exists within library circles and is distressing to the victims of bullying that it tries to help.

A victim of library bullying told us, "This violent abuse is done under the guise of some initiation ceremony, but it's just nasty bullying. They come up with a huge book and say, 'Can you see the Dewey number on this?' but there isn't one, and then they shout 'Take a closer look' and smash you in the teeth with the book's spine. I had that done to me seventeen times."

President of the Charity, Lady Toplace, explained the Charity's position. "The English language is, like, forever changing, innit, and we welcomes all that like a brother, but this thing that's going down is, like, just right off the shelf. Peoples is gonna say Facebooking if that's like a natural thing with them, but to have it put in the proper language is a slap in the face to those who have had a book in the face."

The panel at the Oxford English Dictionary have said they will review all sides of the argument and might append a footnote to the entry warning readers of the word's potential offence to abused librarians.

Corporate bullying in libraries was a dark and hidden secret until 'Shoosh, we're listening' launched their hard-hitting campaign last year which stated "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can still hurt when there's 250,000 of them printed on paper and bound in hardback."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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