Cash strapped colleges and Universities around the country are developing new courses to attract students in September.
"It's simple, we need the money and so classes are now available in almost any subject imaginable," said one college official. "We are highlighting the benefits of Gynaecology and asking budding students to dig deep," he added.
Colleges and Uni's are now having to fend for themselves after Government Ministers frittered away their entire budget via online gambling sites. It is understood one hapless bean counter blew £500,000 by twisting while on 20! His response was simply "Oh well you lose some and you lose some! It's not like we are playing with NHS funds is it," he said.
Dean Deano, Dean at Deansford University said, "Students won't bloody part with their hard borrowed unless they see a course they like. Across the UK other Deans like me have been forced to get our thinking caps on. It's not been an easy few months," he bleated.
The most popular courses for men are proving to be: How to build an AK47 for less than £25, Grow your own weed from weed and Turn your regular glasses into X-Ray specs.
For women they are: How to understand the 'offside trap' - a guide to useful pillow talk, Introduce your man to your 'G' spot and How to understand the intimate mechanics of a man's mind - a ½ day distance learning course.