Written by Mr Anorchristic
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Topics: Boris Johnson

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

image for London Mayor Boris Karloff-Johnson Advocates Bank Robbery Shocker
A London Cyclist Yesterday

The Mayor of London Boris Karloff-Johnson, today announced the release a £2m pound short film called ''HEAT 2''. To the dismay of the millions of cycle riders in London, the film goes on to show, not only how to rob a bank, but at the same time successfully, kill a cyclist in the process.

The film which stars Robert De Niro, Val Kilmner, and Al Pachino as hard-hitting cops and robbers who fight to the death, shocked millions of London's cyclist who have branded it ''a load of shite''.

The Mayors Transport Secretary, Kulveer Ranger, appeared to acknowledge that the new film wanted to bring the message across to Londoner's that it was ok to ''rob banks'' but ''not ok to kill cyclist''.

Ranger, who himself had been in a near fatal bicycle accident last week, due to his heavily bandaged head, stated that the £2m film was to be shown at Cannes and ''could go onto win an Oscar next year''

The Mayor Boris-Karloff Johnson, himself well known for doing wheelies on his tricycle around Westminster and City Hall, hit back yesterday and blurted and stuttered his usual response,which was '' I I I I I was was was widing widing widing my bike you know''

Environmentalists, Susan Carson from the Evergreen Greener Greens said yesterday, that the Mayors plan to have more banks robbed and the killing of more cyclist's in London ''could cause London to sink into the sea by 2020''

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