Convicted child killers Jon Venables and Robert Thompson today had their voting rights returned based on a Council of Europe determination that to refuse criminals the right to vote was 'a denial of their HUMAN rights.'
The killers, now released and ensconced anonymously in the public domain after hundreds of thousands of dollars were spent to protect their new identities, house them, feed them, and nurture them upon their release, said they 'absolutely would not vote for any strengthening of criminal justice laws."
Venables, who has recently been rearrested, allegedly for a string of violations to his release writ said quite cheekily, "Listen Mate, the system is working fine.
Just look at Robbie and meslef as the perfect example how the system is supposed to work. We got off scott free, got paid, were given jobs, council housing and even enough condoms so we knew we could be safe while having sex! Why would we vote to change the system!"
The Committee of Ministers sternly cautioned the UK that continued refusal to allow convicted and incarcerated criminals to vote, could bring harsh penalties to the Realm, and even mean further devaluation of the Pound in relation to the Euro.
A French minister, who refused to be named, and was protected by EU secrecy laws, said EU relationships could be harmed by the UK refusing to grant 'basic human rights' to their imprisoned criminals. "If things don't change," he said, "it could effect the free flow of criminals, spongers and terrorists into the UK, and adversely affect the GNP of the entire Union, which depends on countries like Britain to pick up the tab for their Mates!"
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, freshly back from Argentina and the US backing of the Banana Republic in the Falklands dust up, again sided against the UK.
"It's time to right an egregious wrong," Hillary purred, " and a step the US is soon to adopt. Just because you've killed, raped and dismembered a few people shouldn't keep you from voting, or even holding public office. People need to express themselves and they shouldn't be held accountable or bound by antiquated laws and mores meant for 'other people.'
According to a recent EU amendment, Prime Ministers may even physically abuse pensioners and staff, and still be eligible to hold office and vote their conscience on matters of 'National Security" without fear of reprisal.
A ground swell of support to free all prisoners, wife beaters, and Political Cheats in the UK is being undertaken by the Media with a petition to be placed on the May ballot where now 'everyone' can vote on it in a 'truly democratic fashion', according to Venables.