Written by Nae mair crap
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Susan Boyle

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

image for Subo culture applicants test the patience of Edinburgh University psychologists
look out subonut alert

Edinburgh University is world renowned for it's research into the cult of cultism but psychologists there admit to being stunned and at a loss to analyse the behaviours of a group of Susan Boyle fanatics.

"We often see examples of extreme behaviour, that manifests itself as a reaction to forced manipulation of the brain but with these middle aged women, we fear that planting of ideas has taken over their lives" one psychologist said, " Jacko mania was extreme but this defies all our testing methods. In other words they are nuts, whether learned or forced, they are away with the fairies and we must find a method to test them, then, if they don't drive us all up the wall, to treat their sickness"

"We call this the "thank you" syndrome as every second thing they say is "thank you for your post". This means nothing to us but the people behind this have a lot to answer for" he continued.

"How can we explain what we do not understand. A scan of their "suboforsheep" folders revealed an obsession with flight tracking, a huge list of overseas TV links, all the bus timetables for Blackburn, West Lothian and everyone had kept a receipt for $25. This, we believe is their membership fee - non-refundable" he grined slightly, "These people have been indoctrinated and appear not to be aware who brainwashed them and taught them this frightening behaviour. All they do in response to questions is point to their "We love you Susan" smiley."

"Strangely they become alarmed when asked about the motto on their folders" he said shaking his head, "They shiver and foam at the mouth and we would love to know what Brooklyn Blessings really means"

Wouldn't we all.

Make Nae mair crap's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 1?

4 16 2 21
51 readers are online right now!

Go to top