London - (Royal Ass Mess): Convicted child killer Robert Thompson's new ID has been shattered to smithereens this weekend following reports that since 2001 he has had a grace and favor job as a Buckingham Palace flunkey.
The 27 year-old is apparently gay like his DNA birth father and his duties consist mainly of polishing royal brass knobs and other door furniture items "but not knockers".
Last week worried royal protection cops hauled him in for a right ticking off following reports he had told Palace flunkies that his real grandma's sister "had been captured by Somali pirates".
But what really worried anxious Palace cops was Thompson's Faecesbook blog where last month he tried to send encrypted messages to an English woman working in China.
Angry Beijing security sources then hacked into Thompson's blog account and followed the cybertrail across several continents.
The ensuing meltdown nearly brought down the Boogle internet search engine and caused a massive diplomatic rift with the West.
And the identity of the Beijing female?
Aintgottaprayer.con goes even money it could be his DNA birth mother, working covertly on a hush-hush Palace errand to obliterate the final worrisome coverup about the British withdrawal from Hong Kong in 1999.
James 'Whitey' Bulger is on the FBI's Tope 10 Most Wanted list.