Essex - (Ass Mess): The former England coach moved quickly today to distance himself from any connection to jailed child killer Jon Venables who is back in the slammer for unspecified parole infringements.
"Similar names," El-Tel commented, "so what? F**k off!"
And in a parallel development dual Oscar winning actress Emma Thompson lashed out at any attempt to link her to Jon Venables' crime accomplice Robert Thomspon.
"Thompson is a common English name and on the signboard of one of the country's most successful pawnbrokers (sic)," the movie star's PR said.
"Stick that in your craw!"
Meanwhile at a nonces' wing in one of the UK's highest security prisons warders are under draconian supervision banning them from carrying mobile phones, cameras or any other electronic equipment.
Reports that 'unspecified nutters' might try to spring Venables from his jail cell are being studied by police.
The move follows amid a review of Ronnie Biggs' notorious 1965 escape from HMP Wandsworth.