Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 4 March 2010

image for Chuy Adds Weight To Ripper Freedom Campaign
Please Release Me...Not On Yor Nelly Mate.

Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe was reportedly 'delighted' to hear that the elusive 'Chuy' and his 'Bobby Dazzlers' fan club were wholly supportive of the serial killer's latest bid for freedom.

Sutcliffe, who murdered at least 13 women in the North of England in the late 70s claims he is now cured of his schizophrenia and has seemingly spurred the Chuy fans into vociferous support for his cause, against widespread opposition from a whole lot of sane people.

One Bobby Dazzler member, identified only as 'Jenny' told us:

"It's high time they gave this guy a break and let him go. He hasn't killed anyone for thirty years or so, to the best of our knowledge. He was just a misguided young man when he stalked those women with his hammer and his sharpened screwdriver and viciously killed and mutilated them."

"Och aye," her friend opined. "We all do daft things when we're young. But we live and learn. We strive to improve all the time. I'm pretty sure that this Ripper chappie genuinely regrets being one of the most reviled individuals who ever walked the earth, but even Chuy has had his share of moments of over exuberance - like when he won through on the telly show and did that little shimmy. I'm pretty sure he regrets ever doing that, but we can't hold that against him."

When we spoke to one of Chuy's actual representatives, a lady, she told us that Chuy in no way now or ever, has or would endorse a freedom bid for an evil serial killer, and that if we even hinted to that effect, they'd sue us to bits.

More outrageous fiction when we feel we can get away with it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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