Written by Mr Anorchristic
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Tuesday, 2 March 2010

image for David Cameron Sparks Massive Security Alert
The Tory Leader before his outburst

David Cameron sparked a massive security alert as he jogged along the promenade of Brighton beach yesterday. The Tory leader was seen swearing and shouting at a dustbin which was on the side of the promenade, close to the conference centre where he was due to give a speech within just a few hours time.

One witness, who cannot be named for legal reasons, claimed that she saw the next wannabe PM, kicking and letting out a mouthful of four letter expletives and calling the council owned red dustbin, ''Scottish'' and ''Gordon''.

The protection officers, who were following the Tory leader at the time, pulled out their guns and attempted to arrest the council owned red dustbin, which did not comment at the time. Witnesses and onlookers holidaying in the popular destination were horrified and shocked to see the heavy handed tactics of the police and stated, ''we thought it was the Brazilian guy all over again''. ''it was so scary'' said another onlooker.

Another witness spoke with disgust and said, ''it was a disgrace...I have lived in Brighton 84 years, and have never seen a real gun... and now I have seen three all at once...it was like something out of a Hollywood movie, you know the one where he shoots it and it goes bang''

Another holidaying couple, who saw the whole episode unfold, claimed that they saw the Tory leader suddenly run up to the bin and start kicking it for no reason...''he was all hot and sweaty and looked in shape''

A Tory party spokeswoman stated yesterday that, ''a council owned bin had been removed for security reasons until the end of the conference''.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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