The Prime Minister has revealed the new anti-terrorism strategy at the annual Labour Conference yesterday. Labelled ''The Five Finger Pointed Perpendicular Pre-emptive Prevention Placement Against Terrorism at Home and Abroad'' or Five P's in layman's terms will cost the taxpayer only 305billion a year
The Five P's, is a revised version of the ''Three Fingered Strategy'' which had became outdated and unusable when a top security chief left it in a mosque he was visiting.
The new Five P strategy will bring together all the security services, emergency services and the community in a major offensive against terrorism at home and abroad. The new strategy helps to promote communities by running language classes and cookery classes for non-UK citizens who want to learn about British culture, in regards to prevention of terrorism.
The Prime Minister stated that ''this strategy will be at the fore- front in the fight against terrorism'' and that ''to root out the enemy within, we have to eat like them, speak like them and think like them''. He went on to say, that it was paramount in the prevention of people's hearts and minds, that they ''felt safe going to the chippy''
David Cameron slated the new strategy claiming that Gordon Brown was in fact inept and should step down, pointing out the new strategy in the fight against terrorism was in fact ''a shoddy piece of political mumbo jumbo and cost a bomb to boot'' and that it discriminated against wide areas of the communities such as his ''who never went to the chippy''
The Prime Minister went on to say that a large part of the 304 billion would go towards keeping the local chippy open as a ''curry house and a Chinese had opened up just down the road''.