Susan Boyle fanatics were last night campaigning to have her made a Lady, despite having been told 8 million times that it's impossible.
A head campaigner stormed "I don't care about hundreds of years of tradition, or what the Queen says! I demand that Susan becomes Lady Susan!"
Other fanatics are preparing to storm Buckingham Palace.
Another fanatic said "I'm sure the Queen will change her mind when we give her a red scarf!"
While a third fanatic rambled "I've been watching my 'Monarch of the Glen' collection again, and I saw somebody being called Lady, so I know it's possible. Perhaps if I make another 'tribute' video? Maybe Piers could be our spokesman?"
Two fanatics will be driving to the Palace in their PortaChurch. "We can administer 300 blessings per hour from our new vehicle," they beamed.
One chap will attempt to jump the fence on his horse. "Yee haa! I do declare that this ol' cowboy down the ol' trail will jump the ol' fence at the ol' Palace! Yee haa!" he shouted before this reporter's bullshit deflector kicked in.
A spokesperson for the Palace grumbled "Oh not those lot again? Don't they have a life? We don't want any more red scarves!"