Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 1 March 2010

image for Tony the Westminster Ripper Begins Bid for Parole
An old mug shot

Tony Blair, the infamous Westminster Ripper, is to begin his bid for parole. Blair was sentenced to life in prison for his murderous attacks on the truth and he has already served one term in the political wilderness (the after dinner circuit). Campaigners have been urging a tariff of 'life meaning life' in a bid to keep Blair propping up bars.

Blair's legal advisor argued that Blair is a reformed man and that he recently told the truth to his family at the breakfast table ("I did eat the last of the Sugar Puffs"). Many find it hard to believe that Blair could be such a reformed character. The memories of how the truth was regularly bludgeoned to death by Blair remain fresh in the mind of many.

Blair has also had his request for anonymity turned down. Previously he had been referred to in court only as "Mr Lying Bastard". Now, with his identity out in the open, will he ever be released back into UK politics again? Gordon Brown is unlikely to sanction the release of one of the most iconic criminal figures in history.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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