Written by Earl Grey
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Saturday, 27 February 2010

image for Buckingham Palace Closed After Tourist Mauled By Camilla
"Roar!"

Buckingham Palace has been closed to visitors after a tourist was mauled by Camilla, wife of Prince Charles. The incident happened in the state banqueting rooms during a guided tour.

Several times in the past visitors have been attacked by minor members of the Royal pack, but this is thought to be the first time that one of the big cats has attacked.

The tourist has been named as Givasha Phuque of Budapest, Hungary. He was said to be stabile in hospital and his relatives had been informed. It is thought that he may never play the harmonica again.

Fears that the Royal Family were becoming increasingly aggressive have been voiced in the past. A BBC camera crew were lucky to escape Prince Phllip's enclosure when they disturbed the sleeping beast after a heavy lunch. The late Queen Mother was said to be rabid towards the end of her life, whilst the Queen is showing signs of increasing aggression as she gets older.

Camilla has been sedated by keepers at Buckingham Palace and a decision needs to be made as to whether she should be put down or kept away from public view. Animal rights activist Stig O'Treacy said "Camilla was doing what comes naturally to a Royal. She was protecting her mate, Charles. If you go into their territory you have to expect that sometimes they might attack. I think the Royal Family should be returned to the German forests and released back into their natural habitat."

Sadly, for Givasha Phuque the warnings came too late.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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